How to Fight Right – High Conflict Couples
So which family did you come from?
Jim and Darla never fought. Peace at any price. Jim ran the show, and Darla ran away. She kept quiet and stayed out of the way. They say that if a couple never fights it just means one of them lost early on. These two believed that fighting never got them anywhere, meaning Jim didn’t like the discomfort of accountability and Darla didn’t like the feeling of someone being upset with her.
Carl and Stevie were explosive. A fight is a win – lose; they each really wanted to win. Criticism and tit for tat were the air they breathed in their house, and on bad days the shrapnel flew. Insults, name calling, sarcasm and words that were used on purpose to injure one another. The repair was weak, and so the fights just rolled into the next fight and on they went.
A Better Way to Fight
Did you know you don’t have to repeat what you saw? Did you know that there’s a “good” way to fight?
There’s a way to disagree and not injure one another – to grow the relationship through this kind of communication.
Does it feel like there’s a fight just around every corner? Or does it feel like even if you wanted to, you couldn’t get a rise out of your partner, like you don’t even know what they are thinking most of the time?
Couples can learn skills to get back on track with their communication and gain clarity on who they want to be in the process. Each person gets to be free to be themselves, and the couple gets to grow around this new-found autonomy.
It produces more connection, more freedom, more feelings of partnership and friendship.
Ready to make a change?
Give me a call and let’s see if we might be a good fit!